It’s pouring rain and the emergency services agencies have put the homes closest to the river on evac watch. Charlie had a very decided response to the situation …

No, no, no, not gonna do it.

LURA (from rain-soaked yard): Come on Charlie, let’s go potty.

CHARLIE (from dry garage): Meh.

LURA (with sweatshirt soaked through to skin): Come on Charlie, let’s go potty.

CHARLIE (from dry garage): I’ll hold it, thanks.

LURA (looking like flood victim): You’re a water dog!

CHARLIE (from dry garage): And you, obviously, are an idiot. I’m going to my kennel, should I throw out a life preserver or are you a good swimmer?