Fixed the leak in our washing machine this weekend. It works differently for forest-dwellers.

How city folks fix their washing machine:

1. Observe water has leaked onto floor.
2. Call repairman.
3. Write a check.

How forest-dwellers fix their washing machine:

1. Put up with leak for a few weeks in case it decides to self-heal or a repairman moves to your side of the county.
2. Choose a day when you “have some time.” Watch YouTube videos about repairing washing machine.
3. Take screw driver to laundry room. Carefully remove panel above drum of washing machine. Peer around inside; find source of leak.
4. Walk out to barn to see if there is a replacement part on “parts washing machine.”
5. Find active wasp nest inside parts washing machine, return to house for foamy wasp poison.
6. Walk back to barn, spray wasp nest thoroughly, inspect for additional nests, give anything that moves extra shot of poison foam.
7. Locate piece of scrap metal, use it to scrape dead wasp nest from parts washing machine.
8. Open top of parts machine, avoiding poison foam drips as much as possible.
9. Attempt to remove replacement part needed, congratulate yourself for purchasing such a well-constructed washer.
10. Return to house, Google for instructions, wonder why this is the only part YouTube won’t teach people to remove from this washing machine.
11. Return to barn. Try using curse words and force to remove replacement part needed.
12. Reverse engineer entire top third of parts machine, while trying to not worry about minor exposure to poison foam drips.
13. Remove replacement part; return to house.
14. Wash poison foam off everything. Watch YouTube video about how to remove top panel of washing machine correctly so as not to damage expensive electronic panel board underneath.
15. Light candle to patron saint of washing machines.
16. Return to laundry room. Unplug washing machine; turn off water at source; proceed through steps of removing protective cover from fancy electronic panel board.
17.  Continue to dismantle expensive washing machine until finally able to reach area where replacement part can be shimmied into place, while cursing manufacturer and manufacturer’s family and manufacturer’s progeny and people you just plain dislike who have nothing to do with manufacturer.
18. Replace destroyed part with good used part.
19. Note how blanket batting has somehow become wrapped around everything outside drum. Curse self for not noticing dog comforter had a seam out before you washed it several weeks ago. Seek out and remove all batting you can reach. Hold up washer while spouse crawls underneath to remove batting wrapped around motor and fan. Wonder why washing machine works at all.
20. Clean large amounts of gunky lint out of washing machine crevices normally not accessible. Wonder why clothes get clean at all.
21. Carefully replace all parts in top panel, reinstall top panel cover, taking care not to pinch any wires.
22. Replace screws that hold down panel over drum.
23. Get wild and level washer, which you’ve been meaning to do anyway.
24. Reattach water hoses to back of washer; plug in washer.
25. Run test load.
26. Recruit hubby to help tighten water hoses on back of machine to stop them from leaking now.
27. Put tools away; sign off YouTube.
28. Spend next few days pointing out you fixed the washing machine and are probably owed tributes of some type.

See? It’s easy.